Let a new life happen to you.
Through the end of the year, and even into the beginning of 2023, we are in a time frame where there’s incredible tension between the old and the new, the ending and the beginnings.
The old you is holding onto remnants of the past. Layers and layers of remnants that want to drag you back to your comfortable routine and dampen your ability to connect with your future.
You need to let go.
Let go of the stories and beliefs that limit you, the world around you, and your connection to everything. Stories and beliefs that would like to keep you in a box, under control, and focused on anything other than why you came here.
The stories about how you need to show up in the world: what you do, how you look, where you live, who are your friends, what church you go to, who you vote for.
The ‘not enough’ stories: you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not creative enough, not caring enough. You’re house isn’t clean enough, the neighbor’s yard looks better, your kids are different, your sibling makes more than you do, your friends have better vacations that you do.
The stories about how you need to earn your worthiness or earn the permission to rest. The stories that affirm that you are only valued for what you do.
These stories and beliefs are a hamster wheel of the approval of others that you need to meet.
Like invasive plants, sometimes it is enough to cut these at the base and not water them any more. Other times you need to ruthlessly go after the roots. If it keeps coming up, it is time to go deeper and peel out the roots.
Because a new garden wants to emerge. A new life wants to emerge.
You’re ready to change. A new life is pulling on your heart. Let go of the old so you can step into the new.
In November, we will be continuing the chaotic, abruptly changing, somewhat volatile energy that we’ve been experiencing. Staying in our lane, being gentle with ourselves and others, and sorting through the subterfuge of what is coming up are familiar themes.
This month, however, it feels important to pay attention to the energy around us in a different way. The energy coming in is not just helping things surface, it is bringing in energies that are supporting and shifting us in our personal and collective timelines.
Intuition is expanding.
Here’s what I keep hearing from folks: My dreams are weird. I was thinking of someone I haven’t connected with in a while and they texted me out of the blue. The same number (song, quote, etc) keeps popping up everywhere. I keep feeling I need to trust my gut.
Intuition is knowing something that we didn’t sit down and think about or study. It’s connected to our right brain and our third eye chakra and uses our senses such as sight, hearing, and touch in the energetic as well as the physical realm.
We all do intuition differently.
Whether you’re one who ‘sees’ something or hears a message or are someone who just knows or feels something in your body, we all have certain intuitive paths that are stronger or easier for us to tap into.
We are experiencing energy waves that are part of shifts in consciousness. Whether we are aware of it or not, some of us are quite sensitive to certain energies and it can be easy to hunker down and protect against things that feel uncomfortable. And yet, if we’re willing to ride the waves, the energy can also help us transform and shift.
If you’re already a strong intuitive, the veil might feel thinner and you might feel less grounded or off your center. If trusting your intuition is new to you, it might feel a bit unnerving. You might wonder if you’re losing your grip on reality - when actually you’re gaining more of the reality of this world as is being researched by studies in quantum physics.
Know that you’re not alone. We’re all on this playground together, exploring and learning.
It can be helpful to find those who are also exploring and learning. Having others to talk with who understand and are wiling to also share their experiences can go a long way in helping us build confidence in riding those waves.
This opening and expanding is a call from our heart to become more fully ourselves. Hello heart!
I heard this word the other day in a way that got me to feel into the energy flow around ‘obsolete’.
There are many things around us, such as systems, beliefs, organizations, and ‘stuff’ that are obsolete. But we keep using them because they are there.
Sometimes they are broken; sometimes there is something better. But what is interesting is how we hang onto them because they are familiar. A routine. Available.
Our desire for comfort and our fear of change keep us stuck.
Until we’re willing to be uncomfortable, we’ll remain stuck. Until we’re willing to change the things that we do, we’ll remain stuck.
Change usually doesn’t happen with the big, jump out of airplane type events. Change usually happens with the boring, daily routines.
Until you look back a year later and see that you’re a different person.
Less obsolete stuff. More authentic stuff.
Things may be feeling pretty volatile for you, around you, and within you.
There’s quite a bit that has been hidden or ignored that is coming up from the depths. When this happens within a community or group, it may feel like betrayal over what is being revealed. The systems in our world can appear shaky and, while we know things need to change, we have come to depend on these systems. So change, even change we might be looking to see, can leave us off balance, ungrounded, and not centered.
At a personal level, these things that we have hidden or ignored are often our shadow work. We hid it or ignored it for a reason. Unless we’re ready to do the inner work, our shadows popping up can feel like unwanted guests.
This is coupled with the energy of a new moon and a partial solar eclipse this week. New moons are all about new beginnings but are also times where we may need additional rest, nurture, and time for contemplation. The energy of a solar eclipse can help remove obstacles that are getting in the way of us following the purpose of our heart.
So we feel unsettled, our shadows are popping up, we need some down time, and yet we feel like we should be moving forward in some way. No wonder things might feel volatile.
But all of this, which feels like things are breaking down, is actually the gateway to breakthrough.
We are shifting and changing. Our world is shift and changing. And we are all here to help create a new future.
In the midst of this breakdown and volatility, we may find increased tension in us and with others. There are a couple of things we can do to that might help:
Stay in our own lane.
Work on our personal transformation.
Be non-judgmental of others on their own journey.
Be gentle with ourselves and others.
how’s your heart this week?
For some, it has been a week of amazing joy and surprises. Play and adventure.
For others, it has been a week of loss, grief, and crumbling dreams.
In addition to how your external week has been, internally many people are also feeling ‘it’ without really knowing what ‘it’ is.
We can sense that there’s a cycle ending. We can feel the momentum of where we’ve been but we’re not sure where we’re headed. It’s like when the plane begins to make the final turn for descent and landing. Something feels different.
If we look around, we recognize the tension between the old systems which are breaking down (or being broken down) and the new, which aren’t quite here yet. The old ideas, which some are holding onto quite tightly, and the new, which feel a bit chaotic at times.
However, the biggest tension is going on inside of each of us.
This is the tension between the old self and the new self.
Who we’ve been. Who are we becoming.
And here’s the thing. We can’t become the new while holding onto the old.
To step into new ways of being, we can’t do the same old thing. Or, as Einstein is reported to have said: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If we want things to be different, we have to make different choices.
Change is simple, but it is not always easy.
However, change can start today. Simply by stopping something, starting something, or doing one thing differently.
Pick something small. Pick something doable. And then do it.
Whatcha gonna do?
In a season of healing, we long for peace and harmony. And yet, what we often find is conflict and drama – from others and in ourselves.
That emotional trauma that has been buried deeply, from whatever happened and whenever it happened, wants to come out. Sometimes we know to seek out someone who can hold space for us to process, body work, journaling time, or other ways of healing to let this work its way out of our body. However, even the most zen amongst us can still find themselves being snide, snarky, crying, or lashing out when these unsettled emotions bubble up.
Layer onto this that many people have not seen someone model healthy ways of processing. They’ve never been taught basic ways of handling their own emotions and inner chaos. So, they are also out there being snide, snarky, crying, or lashing out.
Two very important things to note:
What we end up with is a lot of conflict energy.
The conflict energy is almost never about what is happening in the moment.
We’re looking for a fight because we have this fight within us. Whatever is happening around us is just the bridge we use to get it out.
No, it is not the other person’s fault. Nor are we at fault when they unleash around us. We like to have scapegoats for our blow ups because we haven’t yet recognized that it is the chaos within us driving the situation.
So, what to do with conflict energy in and around us?
If it comes up from another, the first step is to recognize that the level 8 responses to a level 2 situation is a great clue that it is them, not us. If this is someone we know well, we may wish to hold space to help them process. But other times, we may need to put distance between us because they have a pattern of responding this way, the situation doesn’t feel safe, or we don’t have the capacity to in ourself to hold this kind of space for another at this time.
If we find ourself in conflict energy, it can be really helpful to burn up some of the physical energy that often accompanies conflict. A run, dancing around the house, a deep cry, or shaking (trauma releasing) are the types of things that can help move this energy in our body.
Once our physical body has calmed, we are more ready for talking, journaling, drawing, or other reflective and contemplative practices that help us go within.
Finally, don’t forget to breathe. A couple of breaths, letting the exhale be a little longer than the inhale, and allowing the shoulder blades to relax and drop, can help us do a mini reset until we have longer to process.
This is a transitional period where many are experiencing endings, shedding (or maybe shredding), and releasing. But it is also a period of openings, beginnings, and going through new doors.
After so long of our patterns and routines, of holding it together, and of letting go, the transition to doing something different can be a really odd ask on our body. Even if we really want something new. Even if we’ve been searching for and seeking something new. The action of ‘doing something new’ can bring up fear and resistance.
I remember a season of extreme loneliness in my life. I was going through some internal shifts and had seen friend after friend pull away or disconnect. Looking back, I now know I was going through one of these transitional periods but in the moment, I wondered what was going on, what was wrong with me, and would I ever have deep friendships again. Finding my people, whatever that meant, had become my mantra.
Walking out at the end of an evening class, I was invited to join some folks for pizza and beer but I had something significant due the next morning so I regretfully declined. Besides, the introvert side of me was looking for quiet coffee conversations rather that busy bar scenes. But as I was walking across the parking lot, a thought intersected my busy mind: ‘you’ve been looking for this’. I hustled back and joined the group. Today, I can see the friendships that were began that evening.
The reality is, that if we keep doing the same stuff, we’re likely gonna end up with the same results.
So, how do we begin to move in a new direction?
We quite literally have to do something.
But what if we do the wrong thing?
Well, we stop doing that thing and do something else.
Energetically, it is easier to change the direction an object is moving in than it is to move an object from rest. This has to do with inertia and overcoming static friction … and the same is true of us! So, if we make a change and don’t like it, we’ll find it easier to change directions to something we do like than starting from square one.
So, how small can this small thing be? Well, back to the friendship example. I could:
Have some fun exploring what might be your ‘something/anything’.
And, if you’re in that place of healing or releasing right now, know that it is also ok to simply ‘be’. If this is you, perhaps your ‘something/anything’ might be to rest or to listen to what your body needs.
Tis a season of the heart.
We’ve been in a season of the mind for a long time. Our mind can be super effective. When our mind is ‘in charge’ it often tries to power through and simply make something happen. Sometimes this something doesn’t go so well. Sometimes we learn from those … sometimes we don’t.
However, often, when the mind is in charge, those somethings go pretty well.
However, often, those somethings click off a check-list of expectations rather than moving towards the purpose and calling of our heart.
It can be like driving really quickly in the wrong direction.
This is a time of allowing the heart to begin to be the decision-maker and creating the ‘what’ while allowing the mind to to focus on the ‘how’.
This isn’t about turning off our mind. Our mind’s job is to figure out how to make things happen. It does that really well. But alone, the mind doesn’t always make choices that align with our purpose and the calling on our heart. This is a time for us to begin the inner work of exploring the wisdom and intuition of the heart.
This might look like:
If I get busy, or under deadlines, do I try to power through until I burnout? Or can I trust myself to do the things I need to do to take care of myself?
If someone is creating a toxic relationship or interaction, do I stuff the emotions into my body until they emerge at some point as poor health or disease? Or can I trust myself to set and keep necessary boundaries?
When my desire for the approval of others kicks in, do I give up my choices to continue to try to fit in? Or can I trust myself to follow my purpose?
Trust is not a nebulous ideal. Think about those you trust or those who trust you. Trust is nurtured by listening and by putting commitments into action. Trusting our heart may require some inner shifts and some healing.
Our heart is calling us. Can we listen?
In a funk?
Many of us are in a season of inner work. We’re reevaluating beliefs and stories – things our parents taught us, things we learned in school, things we were taught through religion, things we saw in movies or TV.
It sure can feel like a funk.
It is sorta like going through boxes that have been stored in the basement or attic for decades. These boxes are filled with mementos that were important at some time. Opening these boxes may elicit all sorts of feelings ranging from “that makes my heart smile” to “oh my gosh, what was I thinking at the time” to “I have no idea why I saved this”.
These mementos, stories, and beliefs are all part of our identity. I am who I am because of all my experiences up to this point. Some shaped me well, some harmed me, some brought me joy, some brought me grief.
But here’s the thing.
We’re probably not going to take movie star picture we saved when we were 12, frame it, and make it the centerpiece of our home. In fact, many of us will simply gift it to the recycling bin.
In the same way, we get to review the beliefs and the stories we’ve kept. As we do this, we find some to be valuable artifacts worth cleaning and displaying with love. But we also tend a lot of debris that we have simply allowed to keep floating in our energy.
So, time to clean out the boxes.
However, it is important to know that we’re not doing all this just to have a clean basement. We’re reviewing and releasing to have space for our next steps. This is a time of endings so we can have new beginnings.
This deep internal reflection and heart-cleaning can cause us to feel off-balance and vulnerable (side note, this is often why we are afraid to look in those boxes!). These reflections and experiences can become catalysts for change which are sometimes more existential crisis than incremental.
Be prepared for the big questions to pop up: Who am I? Why am I here?
These aren’t questions with defined answers that stay static over time. We grow into our ‘who’. We grow into our ‘why’.
We experience growing pains – both in the releasing and in the becoming.
Change is hard. And sometimes the easy part is changing ourselves. Sometimes the harder part it is figuring out how and where our new self fits in. That round peg no longer fits in the square hole.
But that’s ok because our lives were never meant to be confined to a little square box.
September is going to be a choppy month. It might feel like the bandaid is getting ripped off, because, well, bandaids are probably going to get ripped off.
Things that we’ve kept under wraps, in the closet, compartmentalized, rationalized, or otherwise ignored have a good chance of coming to the surface this month.
Which is awesome.
And might feel miserable.
The awesome part is that as these come to the surface, they can (if we don’t fight them) serve as a catalyst for change. We will have the opportunity for deep internal landscape work primarily around beliefs, old stories, emotional wounds, and ingrained narratives.
This is all identity work – who are we, why are we here, what is our deeper purpose, how do we want to be in this world. There may be significant internal dissonance as these questions arise and they may impact us at the individual, relationship, family, work, and community level. Foundations and safety may feel shaky. You may feel kinda raw.
It may not be easy, but there is the opportunity to really shed a lot of things that we’ve been carrying around that no longer serve us.
What will help?
Our energy is going to feel pretty scattered so activities that bring our energy back into our centers and/or ground us will be really helpful. Mindful movements such as yoga, qigong, or tai chi. Meditations. Getting out into nature, under some trees, or near water.
Set and write out specific intentions. While it might be hard to know exactly what sorts of things will release, setting intentions such as ‘I am open to allowing things to surface so they can be released with ease’ or ‘I am ready to release old stories and beliefs that no longer serve me’ will reduce some of the speed bumps that sometimes come up with identity work. Writing these down helps us to embody them. Sticking them on a wall, mirror, or fridge reminds of us our intention.
It might be a good couple of weeks to take some additional time with considering decisions and actions. There might be feelings of intensity and urgency which can push us to make decisions without considering all of the options or impacts. Take your time and pull in some trusted folks for additional perspective if possible.
Finally, be gentle with yourself and be gentle with others.