I heard this word the other day in a way that got me to feel into the energy flow around ‘obsolete’.
There are many things around us, such as systems, beliefs, organizations, and ‘stuff’ that are obsolete. But we keep using them because they are there.
Sometimes they are broken; sometimes there is something better. But what is interesting is how we hang onto them because they are familiar. A routine. Available.
Our desire for comfort and our fear of change keep us stuck.
Until we’re willing to be uncomfortable, we’ll remain stuck. Until we’re willing to change the things that we do, we’ll remain stuck.
Change usually doesn’t happen with the big, jump out of airplane type events. Change usually happens with the boring, daily routines.
Until you look back a year later and see that you’re a different person.
Less obsolete stuff. More authentic stuff.
Things may be feeling pretty volatile for you, around you, and within you.
There’s quite a bit that has been hidden or ignored that is coming up from the depths. When this happens within a community or group, it may feel like betrayal over what is being revealed. The systems in our world can appear shaky and, while we know things need to change, we have come to depend on these systems. So change, even change we might be looking to see, can leave us off balance, ungrounded, and not centered.
At a personal level, these things that we have hidden or ignored are often our shadow work. We hid it or ignored it for a reason. Unless we’re ready to do the inner work, our shadows popping up can feel like unwanted guests.
This is coupled with the energy of a new moon and a partial solar eclipse this week. New moons are all about new beginnings but are also times where we may need additional rest, nurture, and time for contemplation. The energy of a solar eclipse can help remove obstacles that are getting in the way of us following the purpose of our heart.
So we feel unsettled, our shadows are popping up, we need some down time, and yet we feel like we should be moving forward in some way. No wonder things might feel volatile.
But all of this, which feels like things are breaking down, is actually the gateway to breakthrough.
We are shifting and changing. Our world is shift and changing. And we are all here to help create a new future.
In the midst of this breakdown and volatility, we may find increased tension in us and with others. There are a couple of things we can do to that might help:
Stay in our own lane.
Work on our personal transformation.
Be non-judgmental of others on their own journey.
Be gentle with ourselves and others.
how’s your heart this week?
For some, it has been a week of amazing joy and surprises. Play and adventure.
For others, it has been a week of loss, grief, and crumbling dreams.
In addition to how your external week has been, internally many people are also feeling ‘it’ without really knowing what ‘it’ is.
We can sense that there’s a cycle ending. We can feel the momentum of where we’ve been but we’re not sure where we’re headed. It’s like when the plane begins to make the final turn for descent and landing. Something feels different.
If we look around, we recognize the tension between the old systems which are breaking down (or being broken down) and the new, which aren’t quite here yet. The old ideas, which some are holding onto quite tightly, and the new, which feel a bit chaotic at times.
However, the biggest tension is going on inside of each of us.
This is the tension between the old self and the new self.
Who we’ve been. Who are we becoming.
And here’s the thing. We can’t become the new while holding onto the old.
To step into new ways of being, we can’t do the same old thing. Or, as Einstein is reported to have said: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If we want things to be different, we have to make different choices.
Change is simple, but it is not always easy.
However, change can start today. Simply by stopping something, starting something, or doing one thing differently.
Pick something small. Pick something doable. And then do it.
Whatcha gonna do?
In a season of healing, we long for peace and harmony. And yet, what we often find is conflict and drama – from others and in ourselves.
That emotional trauma that has been buried deeply, from whatever happened and whenever it happened, wants to come out. Sometimes we know to seek out someone who can hold space for us to process, body work, journaling time, or other ways of healing to let this work its way out of our body. However, even the most zen amongst us can still find themselves being snide, snarky, crying, or lashing out when these unsettled emotions bubble up.
Layer onto this that many people have not seen someone model healthy ways of processing. They’ve never been taught basic ways of handling their own emotions and inner chaos. So, they are also out there being snide, snarky, crying, or lashing out.
Two very important things to note:
What we end up with is a lot of conflict energy.
The conflict energy is almost never about what is happening in the moment.
We’re looking for a fight because we have this fight within us. Whatever is happening around us is just the bridge we use to get it out.
No, it is not the other person’s fault. Nor are we at fault when they unleash around us. We like to have scapegoats for our blow ups because we haven’t yet recognized that it is the chaos within us driving the situation.
So, what to do with conflict energy in and around us?
If it comes up from another, the first step is to recognize that the level 8 responses to a level 2 situation is a great clue that it is them, not us. If this is someone we know well, we may wish to hold space to help them process. But other times, we may need to put distance between us because they have a pattern of responding this way, the situation doesn’t feel safe, or we don’t have the capacity to in ourself to hold this kind of space for another at this time.
If we find ourself in conflict energy, it can be really helpful to burn up some of the physical energy that often accompanies conflict. A run, dancing around the house, a deep cry, or shaking (trauma releasing) are the types of things that can help move this energy in our body.
Once our physical body has calmed, we are more ready for talking, journaling, drawing, or other reflective and contemplative practices that help us go within.
Finally, don’t forget to breathe. A couple of breaths, letting the exhale be a little longer than the inhale, and allowing the shoulder blades to relax and drop, can help us do a mini reset until we have longer to process.
This is a transitional period where many are experiencing endings, shedding (or maybe shredding), and releasing. But it is also a period of openings, beginnings, and going through new doors.
After so long of our patterns and routines, of holding it together, and of letting go, the transition to doing something different can be a really odd ask on our body. Even if we really want something new. Even if we’ve been searching for and seeking something new. The action of ‘doing something new’ can bring up fear and resistance.
I remember a season of extreme loneliness in my life. I was going through some internal shifts and had seen friend after friend pull away or disconnect. Looking back, I now know I was going through one of these transitional periods but in the moment, I wondered what was going on, what was wrong with me, and would I ever have deep friendships again. Finding my people, whatever that meant, had become my mantra.
Walking out at the end of an evening class, I was invited to join some folks for pizza and beer but I had something significant due the next morning so I regretfully declined. Besides, the introvert side of me was looking for quiet coffee conversations rather that busy bar scenes. But as I was walking across the parking lot, a thought intersected my busy mind: ‘you’ve been looking for this’. I hustled back and joined the group. Today, I can see the friendships that were began that evening.
The reality is, that if we keep doing the same stuff, we’re likely gonna end up with the same results.
So, how do we begin to move in a new direction?
We quite literally have to do something.
But what if we do the wrong thing?
Well, we stop doing that thing and do something else.
Energetically, it is easier to change the direction an object is moving in than it is to move an object from rest. This has to do with inertia and overcoming static friction … and the same is true of us! So, if we make a change and don’t like it, we’ll find it easier to change directions to something we do like than starting from square one.
So, how small can this small thing be? Well, back to the friendship example. I could:
Have some fun exploring what might be your ‘something/anything’.
And, if you’re in that place of healing or releasing right now, know that it is also ok to simply ‘be’. If this is you, perhaps your ‘something/anything’ might be to rest or to listen to what your body needs.