Tis a season of the heart.
We’ve been in a season of the mind for a long time. Our mind can be super effective. When our mind is ‘in charge’ it often tries to power through and simply make something happen. Sometimes this something doesn’t go so well. Sometimes we learn from those … sometimes we don’t.
However, often, when the mind is in charge, those somethings go pretty well.
However, often, those somethings click off a check-list of expectations rather than moving towards the purpose and calling of our heart.
It can be like driving really quickly in the wrong direction.
This is a time of allowing the heart to begin to be the decision-maker and creating the ‘what’ while allowing the mind to to focus on the ‘how’.
This isn’t about turning off our mind. Our mind’s job is to figure out how to make things happen. It does that really well. But alone, the mind doesn’t always make choices that align with our purpose and the calling on our heart. This is a time for us to begin the inner work of exploring the wisdom and intuition of the heart.
This might look like:
If I get busy, or under deadlines, do I try to power through until I burnout? Or can I trust myself to do the things I need to do to take care of myself?
If someone is creating a toxic relationship or interaction, do I stuff the emotions into my body until they emerge at some point as poor health or disease? Or can I trust myself to set and keep necessary boundaries?
When my desire for the approval of others kicks in, do I give up my choices to continue to try to fit in? Or can I trust myself to follow my purpose?
Trust is not a nebulous ideal. Think about those you trust or those who trust you. Trust is nurtured by listening and by putting commitments into action. Trusting our heart may require some inner shifts and some healing.
Our heart is calling us. Can we listen?
In a funk?
Many of us are in a season of inner work. We’re reevaluating beliefs and stories – things our parents taught us, things we learned in school, things we were taught through religion, things we saw in movies or TV.
It sure can feel like a funk.
It is sorta like going through boxes that have been stored in the basement or attic for decades. These boxes are filled with mementos that were important at some time. Opening these boxes may elicit all sorts of feelings ranging from “that makes my heart smile” to “oh my gosh, what was I thinking at the time” to “I have no idea why I saved this”.
These mementos, stories, and beliefs are all part of our identity. I am who I am because of all my experiences up to this point. Some shaped me well, some harmed me, some brought me joy, some brought me grief.
But here’s the thing.
We’re probably not going to take movie star picture we saved when we were 12, frame it, and make it the centerpiece of our home. In fact, many of us will simply gift it to the recycling bin.
In the same way, we get to review the beliefs and the stories we’ve kept. As we do this, we find some to be valuable artifacts worth cleaning and displaying with love. But we also tend a lot of debris that we have simply allowed to keep floating in our energy.
So, time to clean out the boxes.
However, it is important to know that we’re not doing all this just to have a clean basement. We’re reviewing and releasing to have space for our next steps. This is a time of endings so we can have new beginnings.
This deep internal reflection and heart-cleaning can cause us to feel off-balance and vulnerable (side note, this is often why we are afraid to look in those boxes!). These reflections and experiences can become catalysts for change which are sometimes more existential crisis than incremental.
Be prepared for the big questions to pop up: Who am I? Why am I here?
These aren’t questions with defined answers that stay static over time. We grow into our ‘who’. We grow into our ‘why’.
We experience growing pains – both in the releasing and in the becoming.
Change is hard. And sometimes the easy part is changing ourselves. Sometimes the harder part it is figuring out how and where our new self fits in. That round peg no longer fits in the square hole.
But that’s ok because our lives were never meant to be confined to a little square box.
September is going to be a choppy month. It might feel like the bandaid is getting ripped off, because, well, bandaids are probably going to get ripped off.
Things that we’ve kept under wraps, in the closet, compartmentalized, rationalized, or otherwise ignored have a good chance of coming to the surface this month.
Which is awesome.
And might feel miserable.
The awesome part is that as these come to the surface, they can (if we don’t fight them) serve as a catalyst for change. We will have the opportunity for deep internal landscape work primarily around beliefs, old stories, emotional wounds, and ingrained narratives.
This is all identity work – who are we, why are we here, what is our deeper purpose, how do we want to be in this world. There may be significant internal dissonance as these questions arise and they may impact us at the individual, relationship, family, work, and community level. Foundations and safety may feel shaky. You may feel kinda raw.
It may not be easy, but there is the opportunity to really shed a lot of things that we’ve been carrying around that no longer serve us.
What will help?
Our energy is going to feel pretty scattered so activities that bring our energy back into our centers and/or ground us will be really helpful. Mindful movements such as yoga, qigong, or tai chi. Meditations. Getting out into nature, under some trees, or near water.
Set and write out specific intentions. While it might be hard to know exactly what sorts of things will release, setting intentions such as ‘I am open to allowing things to surface so they can be released with ease’ or ‘I am ready to release old stories and beliefs that no longer serve me’ will reduce some of the speed bumps that sometimes come up with identity work. Writing these down helps us to embody them. Sticking them on a wall, mirror, or fridge reminds of us our intention.
It might be a good couple of weeks to take some additional time with considering decisions and actions. There might be feelings of intensity and urgency which can push us to make decisions without considering all of the options or impacts. Take your time and pull in some trusted folks for additional perspective if possible.
Finally, be gentle with yourself and be gentle with others.
You might have heard ‘your voice wishes to be heard’ or ‘speak your truth with love’. These statements are needed and timely. Voice is emerging and calling out what isn’t working in our systems and relationships, while also in urging us to a new future.
Sometimes what gets lost in this, however, is the need for silence.
Silence is in the time needed to explore finding our voice. The time needed to practice our voice, to listen to the sound of our own voice, to reflect on the words we choose to use.
Silence is in the time we need to understand our truth. The time to sort through what is it that we believe among all the stories we’ve been told and messages that we’ve internalized.
Silence is in the time we need to find the place of love and compassion in our heart. Love and compassion for the other. Love and compassion for the situation. And most importantly, love and compassion for ourself.
Silence is a powerful tool. It is integral for our growth.
Silence builds the foundation for our voice and our truth.
Where is silence calling you?
Many times we long for others to change. Other times, we fear that others will change. The reality is that we cannot change another, nor can we prevent them from changing.
People around us change. All the time. In big ways and little ways.
For many, there is tremendous transformation taking place. Sometimes this change is thrust upon them through loss, a bad diagnosis, or downsizing. Others initiate change by examining their beliefs, relationships, and the systems they live within.
Many people change quietly, over time by repeatedly building on small decisions. Some choose to allow the news to make them more fearful. More locks on the door. More hypervigilance. Others choose to try something new, create a daily practice, and connect to others who share this interest.
Sometimes in change, people can become deeply wrapped around more volatile emotions. They get riled up about (insert any hot-button issue) and they try to get the rest of us riled up too but it is often all angst with no action. These folks are in change mode also. They are using external triggers to explore their own internal landscape, especially their emotions. Angst is both the entry key and the lighter fluid on their internal flame. The unpredictability, combustibility, and pressure to join them can make it challenging or undesirable to be around their energy.
How do we come to terms with the person who has changed or is in change mode? Sometimes this is easy because their changes align with our personal path. This expands our common language and shared values making it easy to connect. For others, we struggle with their changes. Their path is quite different from ours. We may not understand their path, we may dislike their path, or we may wish we could take their path but are afraid to.
Part of the answer is to hold relationships sacredly with respect and honor, but lightly without clinging or binding. Each of us is likely to continue to change. However, we typically do not change at the same time, in ways that are comfortable for everyone, or even by staying on the same path. These are why we may naturally fade in an out of each others’ lives.
Honoring our path and another’s path sometimes means letting those paths move in different directions.
Holding these shifts without judgment allows us to be curious about the changes in someone’s life and path. Interestingly this often allows us to be more curious about the changes in our own life.
The news has been pretty busy recently with things being revealed in governments, leaders, and systems. While some had been suspected, the emerging hard reality is beginning to shake some foundations. There’s a sharp spikey darkness that is becoming harder and harder to ignore. The term ‘disclosure’ got tossed around a lot in relation to the release of the UFO files, however disclosure actually has much more to do with revealing the oftentimes ‘shadowy’ operations behind the curtain and how these impact our day-to-day life.
This same ‘disclosure’ energy is also playing out with each of us an individual way. We’re coming face-to-face with our own beliefs and the shadows within ourselves and our relationships. Some of these are also pretty sharp and spikey. Right now, there’s a whole lot of us feeling like life is messy and hard.
There is decidedly a wave of ancestral healing that is occurring across our planet. It isn’t new; it has been occurring across the world in various spaces and peoples for a while and will continue for another several years at least. But what is new is how widespread this is across the world right now.
Exploring our individual and ancestral heritage often brings grief and sadness. The grief from the land which was forced to hold the space for human atrocities. The sadness over what might have been. The trauma that gets passed down the generations through epigenetics.
Within all of this mess however is the opportunity for us to consider how we wish to be, how we wish our world to be, and the future we wish to create. With the ancestral clearing also comes an opening of ancestral power. How will we use it?
Are we ok with shadowy hidden agendas in our systems that create divisiveness, marginalize groups and individuals, restrict freedom, and continue to damage the planet? More people are beginning to step out of line, pushing against rules and systems that no longer seem to make sense and pushing for more whole and interconnected ways of being.
Are we ok with shadowy passive aggressive, codependent, conflict in our relationships that creates shame/blame and generational trauma? Relationships are falling apart at epic rates. However, there’s also epic rates of new relationships, different kinds of relationships, and newfound comfort with being alone. Many are finding their ‘people’; not echo chambers, but others who are doing the hard work of developing emotional intelligence and creating microcosms of community.
Finally, and most importantly, are we ok with shadowy parts of ourselves that we have kept hidden, preferring instead to focus on the need for others to change before we step into our purpose and authentic self? Or are we ready to step into the freedom and authentic power of who we came here to be?
Throughout the world, the pendulum continues to swing into areas of heartbreaking divisiveness, control, and fear. And yet, many are beginning to feel the threads of hope in the atmosphere. How can these coexist?
The divisiveness, control, and fear that we are experiencing are peeling back the layers on just how deep these systems fold into our history, beliefs, and consciousness. We’re breaking open the stories we’ve been told or that we have told ourselves. It is as if it had to get this bad for some of us to wake up and notice. The grief that many feel goes deep and opens windows for releasing personal, ancestral, and collective grief. It is not that we had to take this route to see change but change will be the outcome.
And this change brings hope.
The pendulum’s arc is slowing. Those who watch the horizon can sense the waves of change making their way to shore. You may already be seeing the early waves – new ideas and a heart focus.
Some of these new ideas will be the beta versions that will help clear a path for more sustaining innovation. As systems outlive their function, new ideas generate at the periphery. Some work, some don’t. But over time, there is continued layering of change until we hit a tipping point of sustainability. In addition, the innovation contains a creative energy and one that can carry hope – as well as fun and playfulness.
So, even though there is a battle to maintain the status quo or even go backwards by some, allow yourself to feel the opportunities for change and the opportunities for hope that are also emerging.
It may be that you are in too deep of grief or trauma to contribute much to the changes around you. That’s ok. Take care of yourself and know that you will get the chance to help create in the future. Hold onto that hope.
But if you are feeling that your time is now and you have some interesting ideas emerging, follow your heart, soul, and intuition and step into that which is calling you. Not only will you be building into your hope, you will also be creating hope that helps to change the atmosphere around you.
Are you feeling as if you have too many options? Perhaps you get a great idea that seems really spot-on and pulling you forward, only to have another great idea in a few days and another after that. They all feel like they align with your purpose and are resonant in your heart – but they would take you in different directions.
What’s up with that? Did you hear wrong? Is this like some version of spiritual ADD?
Nope. It sounds like you are right where you are supposed to be.
We are in the midst of a strong creative energy. This is part of the larger ‘deconstruction / reconstruction’ period that we’re in. It is easy to focus on the things that are crumbling, changing, and shedding but just as importantly, this is a season of new growth and creating.
And in the heart of your essence, you are a creator being. You are creative. You came here to create.
Now wait a minute, you might be saying. I’m not an artist, or a musician, or a developer. I’m not creative.
I would encourage you to enlarge your definition of creative. Creative is simply the act of making something. It may be tangible – like a meal or a garden. It may be an impression – the persona of how you show up because of the way you dress or wear your hair. It is always an emotional energy – some of which we can choose, such as judgment or compassion, and some of which may come on us as a sudden grief or joy.
So, back to all these ideas. They are coming to you because you’re a creator being in a reconstruction period of our timeline.
However, they are not all meant for you to do. Some may just be the seed that gets you thinking about something … which eventually leads you to another door. Some may be for you, but the timing isn’t right and they will circle around again if and when you are in the right space for them. Some may be part of the general energy that is coming in. You wouldn’t consider every advertisement you heard to be something you should act on and you may want to think about treating ideas (and synchronicities and serendipities) a bit of the same way.
Even if you are 100% sure that this is for you, now is the time, and you are ready, consider letting it sit at least overnight and perhaps even days or weeks before you do something that might be hard to undo such as quitting a job or signing a contract.
It is often helpful to allow any changes that you are considering to have the chance to integrate across your mind, body, emotions, and spirit. You are, after all, a multidimensional being. Perhaps your heart is sure but your mind has questions. Time can allow these decisions to equilibrate within your body.
Another reason you might want to allow some time is the ‘how’. Even if the ‘what’ is very clear, there can be dozens if not hundreds of workable paths to that ‘what’. Some will feel better for you than others and the most noticeable place you will notice this feeling is in your body. Perhaps thinking about working with one person or business makes you smile while with another, you’re thinking of the 5% you’ll save but you’re not smiling. Your body isn’t smiling.
Finally, it is not only just ok to start small or do a pilot, it is often really wise. I can’t tell you the number of folks over the years who have told me they are wondering about quitting their job to do something else, which their heart is on fire about, but the they’re not quite sure how to get started, and they feel anxious about how they will pay the bills. Sometimes the right answer is to rip off the bandaid. But perhaps more often, the right answer is to build a bridge from where you are to where you want to be.
Do one of the next right things in front of you. See how that feels. See who you meet. See if there’s a part that is more exciting to you than the rest. Then, do one of the new next right things in front of you.
Build the path as you go.
Your authentic power is needed!
Many people have a visceral negative reaction to the word ‘power’ because the power they have experienced has often been a ‘power over’. Power over depends on force, domination, coercion, and colonization, is embedded in the foundation of patriarchal systems, and has been used to oppress, separate, marginalize, and control others.
There is a shifting desire to create and live in a world that operates from a space of power with. Power together. Power as a collective.
Collective power is magnetic and expansive.
Authentic power is essential for collective power. Your authentic power is essential for collective power.Authentic power comes from your internal fire, passion, and heart.
Authentic power requires a connection to your emotional self and it requires your voice and expression.
The emotional self is not always a comfortable place for those who were raised hearing that emotions are a weakness. Nor is the expression of voice a comfortable space for those who have been told their perspective isn’t important or have needed to fit in to remain safe. In addition, authentic power often requires boundaries. So, lots of things that can keep you playing it safe or stuck in your rut.
However, the paradigm is shifting. Your authentic power is seeking to emerge and you are ready to step into your authentic power.
How can you foster this in small ways? Some suggestions:
Connect to your emotions and become aware of your feelings. Practice admitting when you’re feeling a bit off, a bit sad, a bit angry, a bit hopeful, a bit joyful.
Practice your voice through toning, singing, or speaking out loud while you’re alone in the car.
Journal about what you believe and what is important to you.
Speak your truth. In love.
Find your people - the ones who speak the language of your heart.
Allow your authentic power, that fire in your heart, to guide you into your next steps.
Our life has both an inner and outer landscape. Our inner landscape refers to our soul, mind, and emotions. It is how we see ourselves and forms the lens of how we perceive the world. We live in an outer landscape – the world outside of us which we bump into every waking, and non-waking, moment.
Change and healing can start from either direction.
Sometimes, we do the very physical act of cleaning out a closet only to see ripples of new beginnings as a result of spiritual, emotional, and mental space opening up in our life. We plant a garden and see other projects begin to grow.
Sometimes, we do the heavy emotional labor of working through grief or childhood trauma only to find that our diet or exercise patterns change, or we move to a new location. We practice self-compassion and begin to recognize it would be healthier to see certain people less.
The yin/yang between these always exists, but this is a season of depth and rapidity of change between the inner and outer landscapes of our lives.
Are you seeking to make a change but have been feeling stuck? There is a flow right now that can help you surf between your inner and outer landscape.
If you’ve been one to focus on self-help books and similar approaches, try things that actively involve your body. Garden; work on your yard. Renovate a space in your home. Volunteer in the community. These sound too big? Clean a closet. Drive home a different route. Brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand.
If you’re one to focus on the physical, try things that help you learn. Get out those self-help books. Take a course. Start seeing a therapist. Practice self-nurture, self-compassion, and self-love. Journal. Meditate. Sit quietly for 5 minutes and just notice what is going on around you and what is going on in you.
And through it all, don’t forget to play, connect to others, and rest!