Some days I have this deep urge to scream or cry or curl up in a ball like a defeated 2Y old. There’s some serious pent-up frustration in me. And probably a dozen other emotions that I can’t quite name.
But at the same time, I’ll be excited over something I’m planning. I just met up with a friend for tea and great discussion. I got some good news. Or overall, things are flowing pretty easily. At first, I thought this was just me. But I’ve been hearing and seeing this same trend in others. Angst, burned out, stressed … and yet … not always having a ‘good reason’ in our own specific life that we can point to. What’s up with the internal dissonance? There’s a lot that is going on in our world, especially around war and fight energy. It is not new and we will continue to experience different forms of this as we take back our personal power. Right now, however, there’s something amplifying the other energies around us. Eclipse energy. The lunar eclipse and full moon on March 25 brought up a deeply buried ‘stuff’. Stuff that some might call the ‘shadow side’. Stuff in us, stuff in the collective, and stuff from other lives. Stuff asking to be acknowledged and dealt with. The lunar eclipse also further opened our intuitive senses and opened possibility into greater consciousness frequency. You may be experiencing odd to troublesome dreams with information that seems to say ‘maybe we’re supposed to do something with this but what …?’ The lunar eclipse knocked us off our balance a bit. Asked us to reset. The solar eclipse on April 8 is going to blow open doors for those who are willing to step through them. This will be a transitional and transformational ‘turning point’ or ‘tipping point’ moment. What shifts in us and around us will be influenced by more than our current lives. Our ancestral heritage, our soul’s journey, and the planet’s evolution will all contribute to our life’s trajectory. It’s a bit of wild ride. The more we can intentionally connect to our body, the easier this season will flow for us. Grounding and connecting to nature are definitely important. Increasing the strenuousness of some activities (within our own range of what strenuous means) will be helpful … providing we also build in some recovery and rest time. And allowing space for integration. Shut down our electronics, create a window of time to be in our own energy, and allow ourself to just be with no agenda and no to do list. Even if for only 5-15 minutes. Breathe. Be gentle with ourselves and others.
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The alarm goes off and shatters our sleep. Our heart is racing. The dissonance puts our nerves on high alert.
But it is just the alarm … That we set … To help us wake up. Just like the alarm wakes us from our slumber, the dissonance in our world is asking us to wake us from sleepwalking through life. The tensions in us highlight the inconsistency between our beliefs and our actions. And our nervous systems are taking the brunt of it. If we’re going to survive, much less thrive, we need to get better at calming and supporting our nervous system, because the energy is going to continue to flow fast and hot this year. I recently read an account of stress-induced anaphylaxis. Yep. Stress-induced life-threatening immune reaction. It led me down the rabbit hole of learning and also caused me to take a good look at some of my own responses. Because, in recent weeks, I’ve had (1) a weird physical reaction to an email; (2) feeling stressed and rushing.about.really.really.fast with all the things I had to do; (3) painful stiffening in my body as I tried to ignore sounds that were grating my nerves; and (4) shrinking my boundaries to avoid taking up space where I belonged. These are all stress responses. You’ll have your own versions. However, I think we can all relate to the second one. As I was rushing around thinking, “this is all so stressful”, I heard a voice inside me ask, “Is it really stressful? Or is it simply the way you are thinking about them?” Um. Well. Hmm. Actually, not any one of them was overly complicated. Not one of them was super serious. Most I’m pretty good at. And some of them I actually enjoy doing. So why was I so stressed? Because we’re in a culture of stress, wearing stress like a badge of honor. My mindset was swimming in the energy soup of collective stress because I was just going along with the flow. “Wake up” said that little voice inside me. “Notice. Is the stress in you or outside of you? Do you need or want to carry it?” That’s what this energy is asking us to do. Wake up, notice, and choose our response. The energy right now is pushing us towards our authentic selves.
AND, scarily for many, pushing us towards letting our authentic selves be seen. It is part of stepping into our personal power. You know, that stuff around identity and what will others think and people pleasing and trauma responses … and … and … Maybe it is just me that has all those things come up around being seen but, based on conversations with many, this feels like a pretty common response. What can we do to help ourselves as we begin to show up as more of our authentic spiritual selves? The most important aspect is self-compassion. While compassion from others will be both helpful and desired, what our heart craves is to feel our own compassion for ourself. Self-compassion includes being gentle with ourself. Giving ourself time to process, think, create, rest, and integrate. Self-compassion includes accepting ourself as we are and loving ourself as we are. It also includes allowing self-judgment to drop away. It may include forgiving ourself. Self-compassion includes boundaries. We don’t have to rush out and open our lives to everyone or even open every aspect to anyone. We can be discerning and selective. Consider self-compassion as a kind wiser version of ourself who is standing with us, walking with us, holding our hand if desired, and helping us through whatever we are going through. There’s a lot of shifts and transitions in play right now. Some of us are starting a new path, some are taking a fork in the road, some are leveling up, some are minding the gap as they jump into a new journey. Even those who are hesitant about change are getting bumped out of ruts.
Wherever you are, wherever those around you are, know that we’re all going through changes. Changes take us across a threshold. A threshold is a place where we are not where we were, but we are also not where we want to be. We’re straddling to life chapters; have a foot in two worlds. Thresholds are liminal spaces. Spaces where we undergo change and transformation. Some liken liminal space to the transformation of caterpillars to butterflies. Liminal space is the cocoon stage. A cocoon can feel like a dark night of the soul. Liminal space can be unnerving. We can feel like goo. We’re running between idealism and disillusionment feeling like we’re stuck in the middle of what we know might be possible and the stark contrast of the current reality around us.
Embedded in this dissonance is substantial opportunity for breakthroughs, innovation, radical change, life-altering shifts, and awakenings. But, the waves are choppy and it is easy to get disoriented. Set your intention; identify a goal or an area for change. Make a plan. Or at least a to-do list. When things get choppy, do the easiest smallest thing on that list. Rest if you need to. Then do the next. Don’t over do it. But keep on doing it. Small step by small step. Many are experiencing an interesting conundrum of the heart.
Hearts are opening and our capacity for heart energy is increasing. And yet, sometimes we find a stark contrast between the heart energy we encounter in relationships (all types), and the heart energy we know is possible. This gap that is palpable and dissonant and shows up as someone who is emotionally unavailable, lacks emotional intelligence, or doesn’t show empathy. Let’s be honest. The pandemic did a number on us. Even those who with wide open hearts and great emotional communication went inward a bit. Those of us who were already living with closeted heart energy, often went inward even more. But this chapter in our timeline is bringing growing desire for deeper, heart-based interactions and discussions. Many yearn to share the depths of their heart, what they’re really feeling, and their hopes and dreams. Simultaneously, there’s greater need for reciprocity to create trust. We’re more likely to trust someone who shares their heart and emotions with us. When we share our heart and emotions, they are more likely to trust us with deeper parts of themselves. When it goes well, trust spirals into deeper connection. Many, however, are taking a hard look at the places where it hasn’t gone well: parents, family, or partners who were/are unable to discuss emotions, communicate feelings, and/or express love, caring, and acceptance. In some cases, recognizing this gap has led to rupture of relationships. In addition to our relationship with others, our relationship with ourself is going through this same process. We’re being asked to get more vulnerable with ourself. To feel those pesky emotions. To get to the root of our feelings of shame, abandonment, and unworthiness. To get more honest with our heart. To acknowledge our hopes and dreams. Whether it is relationships with others or relationship with self, this is hard stuff. While there’s lots of resources that we can use on our own, working with others can be helpful. I have been working on some heart stuff and I felt supported working with someone who could guide and facilitate the process because it allowed me to focus on my heart and emotions instead of using my head to navigate the process. In the last 6-9months, I’ve used things like guided release, somatic breathwork, sound healing, human design, and coaching. Experiment and play and see what works best for you. The beauty of the journey is the changes we take with us everywhere we go. I’ll believe it when I see it.
That’s what we were taught right? It should be tangible. We should be able to measure it, test it, replicate it. But we’re in a different season. This season calls us to flip that statement. I’ll see it when I believe it. This season calls us to believe. To believe our intuition. To believe our truth. To believe in what we are doing. To believe in ourselves. When we believe, we realize we can pull back the veil. When we believe, we find ourselves being a conduit for wisdom. When we believe, we experience greater integration of our body, minds, soul, and spirit. Discernment is essential. Skepticism is healthy. Doubt is the pathway to faith. But certainty and cynicism are erosive to our imagination, intuition, and creativity. Can we give ourselves permission to believe that something else might be possible? First off, it is not you. Right now, it is a couple of weeks of everybody, all of us, all of the time.
Secondly, it is you. Because what is happening around us is also happening within us. We’re in the midst of fast moving, competing and, sometimes, clashing energy flows (new moon, planetary geometry, solar cycles). A bit of teenage testosterone practicing ‘hold my beer’. It also feels particularly edgy and off-sync because we are up close and personal with it. We have a couple of choices about how to navigate this. Stay in the middle of it and plan for wild adventure. So long as we stay on the side of friendly arm-wrestling versus steely power struggles, there’s an energy here that can take us far. If we’re ready to ride the white water, let’s go with the flow. Isolate and numb. Honestly, this is going to look quite good some days as overwhelm will be a real player. We may feel protected in the short run but risk being stuck in the same old energy for the long run. However, if we can move to rest and integrate instead, we can more easily cycle back into the energy when we’re ready. The difference between isolate/numb and rest/integration is our intention and internal work. Isolate and numb is ‘checking out’. Rest/integration is a mindful pause with the goal of getting back in the game. Step back to step forward. Part of the problem is that we are so up-close and personal with this energy. If we can step back from the drama, emotions, and details, we can then step forward with our creative self. Use the bandwidth gained by getting out of the rabbit holes to create something that brings joy, peace, hope, play, or fun into your world. What should you choose? There is no one ‘right’ answer because each of our paths is different. If we listen to our body, it will help guide us to what we need most in this period. Some of us are already carrying a LOT going into this energy and have very little bandwidth for ‘one more thing’. Sometimes, just making it through is more than enough. Honor what you need in this time. And also honor that others will make choices that will be different than yours. We do not need to agree with, give energy to, or otherwise support those choices that are different than what we would choose. Neither, however, do we need to pull in energies of judgment and othering against them. It is easy to be ‘against’ things. It is harder to keep our eyes, energy, intention, and actions moving towards what we are for. And yet, this is what changes the world. What is emerging in you?
What is emerging through you? The energy can feel a bit (or more than a bit) like we’re getting beaten down. Stuff seems to come at us from all angles and the waves feel pretty choppy at times. But then we stop, breathe, and look around, and notice that we’re still here. Despite everything. Maybe a little wobbly, but still here. Still moving forward. And still having impact. And that’s what we need to keep noticing. The waves got choppier but we got better at riding them. We leveled up. And we will continue to level up. Not for ego or recognition but because what we are here for is different than our past. We’re at a ‘higher purpose’ fork in the road where we have the opportunity to unlock more of why our soul came here and to go deeper into our soul’s journey. As our soul’s purpose emerges, we emerge. And, as we emerge, that which we came here to do emerges through us. It is easy to focus on the darkness. On the war energy. On the hate. On the anger. On the fear.
These are loud. They are being consistently messaged to you in so many ways. They are used to ‘sell’, to influence, and to control. Light energy is quieter. It contains more hope, more peace, more joy. There is always more light than darkness. Always. And, it takes only a candle’s worth of light to begin to dispel the dark. Light transmutes the dark. Find the light within you. Nurture your light. Let your light begin to grow. Let your light begin to open you so that your light becomes visible, felt, and heard. Let your light connect with other lights. Find your people. Do not compare your light with others. Each has a different light. A different frequency. A different harmonic. A different purpose. Let the ripples of your light flow out to where you wish to see change and to help others. Let your light be the power and purpose that you came here for. |
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