You’ve changed. You can feel it in how you show up with others and how you show up for yourself. Deep in the marrow of your being, you have been on a path of transformation.
And now, heading into the holidays, some are beginning to feel the same old dread. How do you navigate interactions with family and friends who know the ‘old you’? How do you avoid feeling like you need to go back into the box of old patterns that used to serve you so well? You worry that being yourself, the new you, will cause tension and strife. Should you just ‘suck it up’ and pretend to be someone you’re not for the few hours or days of these interactions?
Actually, pretending usually isn’t so helpful.*
When we’re changing, or have changed, those around us probably already know.
Our energy precedes us into a space and we are constantly merging with and flowing in and out of the energies around us. We ‘sample’ what’s in the ocean of energy around us. It’s how we walk into a room and ‘read the room’ to see if it is comfortable, tense, or playful.
If others are paying attention at all, they sense that something has changed. Our words and actions simply provide confirmation to what they are sensing. Sometimes, they may not like the changes in us which can amplify the tension we feel.
And we’re afraid of the tension.
But we have no control of how others feel about us. Whether we hide ourselves away or live our lives out loud, they may like or dislike us. Accept or reject us.
But we can influence how we feel about ourselves.
And actually, how we feel about ourselves can be very helpful in changing situations. Here’s how it works.
When I’m not comfortable about who I am, I carry all sorts of questions and fears with me in my energy. You know the voices: Am I good enough? Do I fit in? Am I too weird?
Those fears and questions are what others feel. And so they become fearful and questioning around me. When I talk about myself awkwardly or with shame, they may sense there may be something awkward or shameful about me.
There will always be those who do not care for us and or our life path. In some cases, these will be toxic and we will need to separate the relationship or put additional distance between us.* But in many cases, a lot of what we feel is actually our own discomfort with our own growing pains.
As we allow ourselves to change, we will begin to seek and connect with those who are changed self resonates with. The more we find those with whom have shared voices (including books, shows, and movies) and spaces where we can encourage each other, the more we become comfortable in our skin and our own life.
In most cases, being comfortable in our own life allows others to be more comfortable with us.
Additionally, the more comfortable we are, the more we are able to give others permission to be on their own journey.
*If you, or others you know, are in a space where they are threatened, harassed, or encountering abuse of any sort, pretending or fitting in while making plans to escape from the situation may be necessary. Please seek support from those you can trust who can help you.
Let a new life happen to you.
Through the end of the year, and even into the beginning of 2023, we are in a time frame where there’s incredible tension between the old and the new, the ending and the beginnings.
The old you is holding onto remnants of the past. Layers and layers of remnants that want to drag you back to your comfortable routine and dampen your ability to connect with your future.
You need to let go.
Let go of the stories and beliefs that limit you, the world around you, and your connection to everything. Stories and beliefs that would like to keep you in a box, under control, and focused on anything other than why you came here.
The stories about how you need to show up in the world: what you do, how you look, where you live, who are your friends, what church you go to, who you vote for.
The ‘not enough’ stories: you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not creative enough, not caring enough. You’re house isn’t clean enough, the neighbor’s yard looks better, your kids are different, your sibling makes more than you do, your friends have better vacations that you do.
The stories about how you need to earn your worthiness or earn the permission to rest. The stories that affirm that you are only valued for what you do.
These stories and beliefs are a hamster wheel of the approval of others that you need to meet.
Like invasive plants, sometimes it is enough to cut these at the base and not water them any more. Other times you need to ruthlessly go after the roots. If it keeps coming up, it is time to go deeper and peel out the roots.
Because a new garden wants to emerge. A new life wants to emerge.
You’re ready to change. A new life is pulling on your heart. Let go of the old so you can step into the new.
In November, we will be continuing the chaotic, abruptly changing, somewhat volatile energy that we’ve been experiencing. Staying in our lane, being gentle with ourselves and others, and sorting through the subterfuge of what is coming up are familiar themes.
This month, however, it feels important to pay attention to the energy around us in a different way. The energy coming in is not just helping things surface, it is bringing in energies that are supporting and shifting us in our personal and collective timelines.
Intuition is expanding.
Here’s what I keep hearing from folks: My dreams are weird. I was thinking of someone I haven’t connected with in a while and they texted me out of the blue. The same number (song, quote, etc) keeps popping up everywhere. I keep feeling I need to trust my gut.
Intuition is knowing something that we didn’t sit down and think about or study. It’s connected to our right brain and our third eye chakra and uses our senses such as sight, hearing, and touch in the energetic as well as the physical realm.
We all do intuition differently.
Whether you’re one who ‘sees’ something or hears a message or are someone who just knows or feels something in your body, we all have certain intuitive paths that are stronger or easier for us to tap into.
We are experiencing energy waves that are part of shifts in consciousness. Whether we are aware of it or not, some of us are quite sensitive to certain energies and it can be easy to hunker down and protect against things that feel uncomfortable. And yet, if we’re willing to ride the waves, the energy can also help us transform and shift.
If you’re already a strong intuitive, the veil might feel thinner and you might feel less grounded or off your center. If trusting your intuition is new to you, it might feel a bit unnerving. You might wonder if you’re losing your grip on reality - when actually you’re gaining more of the reality of this world as is being researched by studies in quantum physics.
Know that you’re not alone. We’re all on this playground together, exploring and learning.
It can be helpful to find those who are also exploring and learning. Having others to talk with who understand and are wiling to also share their experiences can go a long way in helping us build confidence in riding those waves.
This opening and expanding is a call from our heart to become more fully ourselves. Hello heart!