Our tender hearts

​Our hearts need to unlock. Our hearts need to unblock.
 
Many of us carry thick walls around our heart. 
 
We put them up for really good reasons, or so it seemed in the moment. We got hurt, betrayed, abandoned, minimized, abused, isolated, forgotten. Protection seemed important, even essential.
 
And then we experienced loss. Grief. Anguish. We let the walls get thicker, so we didn’t have to feel as deeply.
 
And then we read the news and learned of the ongoing atrocities committed by humans against each other, non-human beings, and the planet. And the frenzy incited by polarization to pit us against each other. We became overwhelmed. And we went numb.
 
Until, at some point, we realized that, in being numb, we’d also lost our joy, peace, and hope. And we wanted those back. No matter what it cost.
 
Our soul cannot experience the fullness of being human if we keep our heart in a box.
 
Unlocking my heart has been a long and ongoing journey. 
 
I spent some time trying to figure out why my heart was locked. Down lots of rabbit holes only to really learn that it was often due to a mixture of reasons. Trying to find ‘the’ reason stopped making sense. 
 
I turned my focus towards what would unlock my heart.
 
Painting and drawing helped quite a bit. These let me play with colors and explore shapes and textures. I experimented with different types of subjects and found a love of the abstract. It was a space I could get out of my head and just sort of be in the moment.
 
Reiki, tai chi, qigong, craniosacral therapy, neurochiropractic care, massage, myofascial work were also important because I was very disconnected from my body. These helped me connect inward and begin to learn to sense my body, notice my body, and feel my body. As I began to connect to my physical body, I was able to use that as an entry point to my emotional body.
 
For you, it may be music. Or yoga. Long conversations. Improv. Restoring old cars. Volunteering with the park system. Or, or, or.
 
The trick is to simply try something or some things. They’re all experiments, so know that if you don’t like it, you can stop – even midway through the first experience. ‘Do or do not, there is no try’ may work for the Force. But unlocking your heart is more of a spiral, rambling path. And you have full permission to explore the side trails as well.
 
It is your heart. You hold the key to it.